Mr. Monty

A fixture in my life went home to be with Jesus this morning.  Always there. I'm having trouble processing today because something that's always there has to still be there,  right?  My family has attended the same church all my life, actually all my dad's life. I not only had the same pastor for 30 plus years, I've had the same church family. Well, obviously there were ebbs and flows in attendance, probably less than 100 people sometimes, close to 300 at another. People come and people go, but that's not true of all people. Some people stay, some people do not go. They don't just tell you about the faithfulness of God they model it, they live it, they ARE the faithfulness of God.

My older brother was six years older than me the baby nine years younger, yet we all had the same first Sunday School teachers. Actually, that's nothing, my former Sunday School classmates have children now and THEY had the same Sunday School teachers too.  Mr. Monty and Miss Laura. When I called their house this week to say, whatever you say in moments like this, "Thank you... I love you.... I'm praying... see you there....," whatever you can manage to get out before your heartache catches in your throat and words are replaced with sobs. A nurse or family member, a voice I didn't recognize answered the phone and I wasn't prepared for that, I stuttered, "May I speak to Mr. Monty or Miss Laura?" I'm sure they thought why is this grown woman using nursery school titles? Because I may not have remained 4 years old, (although I'm told I DID remain in (read refused to leave) the 4yo SS class till I was maybe 6), but they've remained Mr. Monty and Miss Laura in my life. Fixtures. Faithfulness.

As I've played and replayed the memory reel over and over in my mind today the only memories I have of Mr. Monty are of smiles, of being hugged and told, "We love you, you know that?" Of him saying, "She's on our tab!" to the waitress. Of Christmas and Birthday cards EVERY single year of my life.  Of being handed check, after check after check. I started going on mission's trips in 1995, therefore I started fundraising in 1995 and haven't really stopped, there is not one trip they did not contribute to monetarily and prayerfully. So every good thing done, every life changed, every soul heaven gained on those trips, he's finding out right now as he stands before Jesus that those too are on his tab.  Supporters, like church attenders, ebb and flow too especially when you fundraise for 20 years, but again they, Mr. Monty and Miss Laura, are the exception or rather the exceptional.  Since becoming a full time missionary in 2009, I get a monthly statement that lists every supporter who gave that month, I do not have a statement that doesn't list Ernest M. and Laura Gilliam. Loving. Generous. Consistent. Faithful.  Like captions, in my mind's eye I see these words underneath the memories, the moments, that if compiled span my entire life. Captions that equal the attributes of the life of Mr. Monty. Attributes that are listed in Galatians 5:22:  "The fruit of the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Forbearance, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self-Control..." I don't know about you, but I might get one or two of these listed as my attributes on a really good day, but the other days it's hit or miss, or miss again.

I'm astounded when I look my memory reel and I look at Galatians 5:22 and it's ALL there in the life of Mr. Monty, every word, every evidence of a life lived full of the Spirit of God. Love oozed in word and deed, Joy evidenced with smiles & laughter & other intangible measures, Forbearance in love and showing up for so many from cute toddlers, thru the difficult teen years, into adulthood, when you can take smelly boys on campouts and put up with them week after week, 45 years of marriage, and 60 plus years of serving your church, your community, and the Lord every single day. Kindness and Goodness relate more to how you made others feel - my FB feed, full of tributes, says Mr. Monty was more than kind and good. Faithfulness is probably the best way to describe Mr. Monty, a fixture, always there, not just in presence, but in service and duty, and most of all character. Gentleness you do not teach a children's Sunday School class that children do not want to graduate from for over 30 years without being gentle. In all my years of knowing Mr. Monty, I cannot recollect even one memory of him being angry, hateful, or even impatient with me, this, to me, is a picture of Self Control.  It's ALL there.

So, Mr. Monty, thank you for being a real live example of what it means to be Christlike, it's taught us and molded us, and shaped me into who I am today. Your life has challenged me to get it right more often, to show up, to remain faithful and in step with the Savior that you taught me about with flannel boards, and popsicle sticks, and Easter bunny costumes. So, Thank you, I love you, see you there...

I'm totally confused by this photo, how is the bunny standing there if Mr. Monty is OUTSIDE the costume?
The Easter Bunny must be real. 

MENE TEKEL: The Handwriting on the Wall

This post is mostly just the notes from my pastor's message this morning, but it answered a lot of my, "Why is my own culture freaking me out more than all the Asians, Haitians, and Africans combined?" 

You can read past posts about how coming to America has sent my brain into a tail spin, but I thought I might not be the only person to benefit from this message so I'm relaying it here, so thanks Pastor Jeremy Godwin for being a "guest blogger" today! 

Can you read the handwriting on the wall?  Daniel 5:26-27 "God has numbered the days of your kingdom and brought it to an end; you have been weighed in the balances and found wanting." 

Is your life out of balance?  I searched the internet for a good image and this one was actually titled, "Mary's Unbalanced Life," so I took that as I sign that it was the one to use! 

My pastor speculated this morning that our number one problem is the PACE of our lives. Coming most recently from a much SLOWER Asian culture I can say, "TRUE STORY!" 

If the handwriting on your walls is saying, UNBALANCED! UNBALANCED! UNBALANCED! 

Then keep on reading my notes from this morning's service:  

   When My Life is Out of Balance:

1. The risk of making sinful (bad, dumb, wrong, unhealthy, unBiblical) choices greatly increases.

     Luke 21:34:  But watch yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and the cares of this life and that day come upon you suddenly like a trap. 

2.  My emotions are inconsistent. 

      Job 9:25:  My days are swifter than a runner, they flee away; they see no good. 

3. I am less productive.

     Proverbs 21:5: Careful planning puts you ahead in the long run; hurry and scurry puts you further behind. 

      Proverbs 19:2:  A person in a hurry makes mistakes. 

4.  I end up empty inside. 

     Ps. 39:6:  Surely a man goes about as a shadow! Surely for nothing they are in turmoil, man heaps up wealth and does not know who will gather. 

5.  I can't hear God.  (YIKES!)

    Ps. 46:10:  Be STILL, and know that I am God. 

So, if the handwriting is there, what can we do about it?  Afterall, this is your LIFE! 

How to Catch Your Breath

Mark 6:31:  And He said to them, "Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest awhile." For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure to even eat. 

1. Stop the constant push for more. 

   Ecc. 4:6:  Better is a handful of quietness than two hands full of toil and striving after the wind. 

   Proverbs 14:30:  A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot. 

   Proverbs 20:25:  It is a snare to say rashly, "It is holy," and to reflect only after making vows. 

** It's always easier to get into something than to get out of something!!!** 

2. Keep the sabbath day. 

   Exodus 20:9-10:  Six days you shall labor, and o all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God.  On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male or female servant, your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates. 

3.  Stay close to Jesus. 

   Ps. 23:1-3:  The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.  He restores my soul.  He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake."

    Matthew 11:28-30: Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you fill find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light"  

  So, what do we need to do?  What every cop I've ever met has told me to do, "Slow Down!" 

Hard Shell or Soft Shell, 10K miles, and Tide Detergent

First of all, the answer is HARD SHELL! But we'll get to that in a minute because it mostly starts with my arrival back into the states in mid December.

For anyone wondering, reverse culture shock is a beast and still going, going, and going like the stinking Energizer Bunny! I'm not a fan.

So I arrived and was homeless until mid March, true story! I guess you could say I was living out of my car since between then and now I've put about 10K miles on it, but mostly I stayed in OPP (which I hope really does stand for Other People's Property) I'm definitely down with OPP yeah you know me- my friends have some really nice digs!

**Thank you Mom & Dad, Matthew & Cara, Carrie,  Coles, Ross', Whitehursts, Sandy, McConvilles, Tiffs, Mentons, Gambers, Waters, Days,  Montgomerys, Bagunus, Hollemans, Whitleys, Bales, Lauren,  McKays, Shands, Allens, Fentons,  Tuttles, Libba, Phillips, Lusbys, Harts, Aimee, Cruises, Louisiana District, Kolmans, Kirkpatricks, Yanceys, Grants, Steinbachs, McCarty, Shanna, and Jamie for your time, support, and hospitality already this year! ** 

Wow! I really get around! And I really did enjoy my time with each of them, but what I could've done without was all the stuff in my car- like 3 XL suit cases, a couple of totes, a couple overnight bags, all pertinent electronics, missions booth stuff, back pack, couple of purses, Vicks humidifier, case of water, case of coke,  you know, my LIFE! oh wait, let's not forget the 100oz, 64 load, bottle of liquid, original scent Tide detergent. It's like my American Express, I don't leave home without it.

Do you know what happens when a 100oz, 64 load bottle of thick blue liquid original scent Tide spills in your car/home/mobile office/closet/storage unit?  Because I DO!

 I'd just driven from OKC to Dallas and was checking into the Holiday Inn about to go pick Sara up from the airport and take her to the Thai Consulate to get her Visa. Other than the snow storm I'd just survived in OK, things had been pretty smooth as far as travels go, I was determined to be prepared and organized and just enjoy the road! I was unloading my neatly packed overnight bag when I noticed it, my soft shell suit case appeared to have something purple all over it, I touched it hesitantly it was sticky, I pulled it out thinking no harm, no foul I'll clean it off! WRONG! Harm AND Foul!

I'm not sure my description can do it justice, but I'm going to try:

First of all, I calmly went inside checked in and grabbed a nice white towel from my hotel room and went down to assess the damage. So.. imagine all that STUFF in my car. Imagine, a small canvas bag of electronics, chargers, camera, ipod, USBs, SOAKED! Imagine my brand new prayer cards in a cardboard box, DRIPPING! Imagine books filled with BLUE pages! Imagine my new to me car, recently detailed, with FORMERLY light tan, cloth interior! Imagine a bottle of 100oz Tide with about 20oz left! EVERY NOOK & CRANNY!  Did I mention it is raining? Because it's raining. I'm soaked, the parking lot is getting a good cleaning as soap bubbles surround the back of my car. Nonetheless I pulled it all out and wiped it down best I could, tossing what could not be salvaged, and went to close the hatch of my SUV. Do you know what happens in that indentation around the license plate when the hatch has been up in the rain for a good 20 minutes? It fills with water. Do you know what happens to said water when the hatch is slammed shut and you are 5'2'? My head was soaked and my silk blouse transparent! I then trekked thru the lobby and up to the 3rd floor of the Holiday Inn Express soaked with my newly blue STUFF! I ran the tub full of water and stuck it all in there, I didn't know what else to do. Then I opened the soft shell suit case to get out a change of clothes and surprise I now have thick sweaters and shirts and jeans pretreated with Tide, in a frenzy I dumped them all into the tub.  I threw on dry clothes and drove to the airport to pick up my friend. I came back to a blue liquid filled tub with electronics and sweaters, oops! It was then that we noted that there was a washer and dryer on the ground floor.. so we hauled the blue soaking wet sweaters and jeans, down the hall and into the elevator, machines full so we had to make a couple more trips. There are now "caution wet floor!" signs in the elevators and pretty much every where we had been and maids cursing in Spanish about some unknown agua azul!

Rereading this, I really CANNOT do this situation justice, but hopefully this gives you a glimpse to the Tide Fiasco.

What did I get out of this aside from a great smelling vehicle and lots of blue stuff?

Well, I had really been wrestling with God on some issues, some plights of those I love specifically stuff like  Psalm 51:17 where it says, The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; A broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise. 

Why do you want us to be broken,  Lord? (Granted there are dozens of more verses about how He's near the brokenhearted, He desires to revive the broken in spirit, He heals the brokenhearted, etc. etc.) But He really desires for us to be broken for Him? It just sounds terrible. It doesn't preach, Lord. I don't like seeing my friends broken either.  And I don't really want any part of it myself, I'd tell Him. Then the Tide spilled.

64 loads is a lot of good cleaning out of one whole, sealed tightly bottle, but you wouldn't believe how far it can go when it's broken and spilled out. It reached nooks and crannies there's no way I could have even dreamed to reach or pour into from the whole, tightly sealed bottle. As I continue to find the tide and get whiffs from the back of my car, I'm reminded that when we're broken for Him even if some of that is for REAL brokenness, times of pain, discomfort, ugliness even, our reach is greater. Whole and tightly sealed with my controlled times of pouring out I've got 64 clean loads. Broken and spilled out my life reaches nearly unlimited nooks and crannies and nations. My reach is far extended and the pour is uncontrolled (by me anyway) now He's guiding and controlling the pours, it's reaching people and places I wasn't even aware existed (like the insides of USBs!) or maybe even kids in a village, up a mountain, and across a creek.

In her brokenness she now reaches mothers who have lost children born too soon because her story can now ooze into the depths of their pain and bring fellowship and healing. Out of his broken past he reaches those in the throes addiction. In their brokenness for the lost of Kenya they live among them and bring water to their parched souls and parched land. Out of the brokenness of poverty they endeavor to feed the nations. Out of the brokenness of a devastating tornado she joins the disaster relief team. Out of a broken home, a lonely childhood, they foster, they adopt. And these are just a few of my friends.

I guess the moral of the story is we should embrace our brokenness, but always buy hardshell luggage.

Clarity

This will just be a quickie, as I realize I really need to get back into the habit of writing whether it's here, an overdue newsletter, or recording the amazing grace filled stories of the Thai believers God gave me the privilege of working with over the last couple of years.

I must confess, US life is quite a bit faster paced and more overwhelming in a lot of ways than life in Thailand. Although abroad we have access to a lot of your news and articles and internet buzz, most of the time we have to seek it out, type it in, go looking for it. Here, not so much. Here the news, the noise, the opinions, the stuff, the BUZZ is just EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME! Sometimes I feel like I'm inside the Temple Grandin movie!

It's dizzying, like I drank too much and then I realize that I DID! Of the noise, I've listened too much, read too much, watched too much, put out too much and drank in too much- information, STUFF overload! This is not a blog about how I'm going to fast from my phone, the internet, television, billboards, my ipod, magazines, newspapers, my kindle,  the radio, books, blogs, social media, articles, movies, articles about movies, people, the voices in my head or any of it, or God forbid Netflix,  although it's all something to consider throwing out the window. It's about where I've found clarity in the midst of all that swirls and swooshes and swoops around me constantly, all the time, it's about what silences what surrounds us, the inescapable buzz.

I have many, many bad habits, but I have ONE really GOOD one. ONE that brings clarity, peace, understanding, straightening, cleansing, sets me upright, restores, renews, comforts, inspires, encourages, transforms, heals and guides me.  It's not a great therapist, 8 glasses of water a day, my best friend, it's not prayer, it's not fasting, it's not cross fit, it's not going to church, or Oprah or Joel Osteen podcasts, it's not helping others, or worship music, or yoga, or my mission's habit or even coca-cola. It's reading God's word, studying God's word, memorizing God's word.

I DO use guided Bible studies, but ones that systematically go thru God's Word because at the end of the day that's where the answers are, that's where the TRUTH is, that's where peace and clarity and an abundant life are found, in it's pages, in heeding it's guidance, it's very CLEAR direction for how to get thru all that swirls, swooshes, swoops, storms, and stomps around you today. This is my TRUTH. This is where clarity is found.