The doorbell text notification went off on my phone, "How can I pray for you today?" I was in a mood and responded with, "F!" I got back a "What?!$@*!?" 😳😳😂😂 with some surprised and laughing so hard I'm crying emoticons. Which evidently are now available on my computer 🙌👏, so I will not have to use near as many words in my posts. (You wish!😜)
I clarified my text with, "Fitness, Fundraising, and F$@!ty, I'm struggling with them all today and they all start with "F" and are pretty much true "F" words in my book! Since that text I've added another "F" word to the list, FEELINGS. In my youth I had LOTS of feelings and I wore them All, no one had to question if I was happy, mad, sad, angry, disappointed, frustrated, excited, you could tell by looking and listening and you really didn't even have to be nearby. Bless my heart! Now that I'm 29 and much more mature, I take pride in the fact that I'm no longer ruled by my Feelings, until I am. 😔
The other day I rose at 5:30am went for a run, came in and did a workout, spent quality time with Jesus, returned some emails, made some calls to pastors on the east coast and was on my way to work by 8:30am, okay it was a hair appointment, but I made it to my 10:30 meeting and felt like I had already won the day! Hashtag winning! I was OWNING Fitness, Fundraising, and F8#!ty! But then the other "F" word crept up. Someone was critical of something I had worked really hard on, I got an email that my budget was not where I thought it was and I would need to ask for an extension on my Fundraising, and no one even noticed my hair! When my final meetings ended at 3:30 I headed home to pout in my pajamas and my Netflix. I may have OWNED the morning, but was not OWNING the afternoon. "F!" Failure.
It's been a few days and I'm back to owning most of my mornings AND afternoons, but still struggling with my personal "F" words. As I've reflected on last year and what I want to see happen this year I've decided that I'll embrace my "F" words with a great degree of help from my Father.
As I've walked and talked with Jesus, often times complaining about Fitness, Fundraising, F*$%ty, and the Feelings that all of these cause, He's said to me many things. Some thru my west coast pastor Judah Smith or my east coast pastor Stephen Furtick, or highlights in my "Chase the Lion," book or my Lifeway study of "Hosea." (It takes a LOT of work from a LOT of people to keep me from saying the "F" word evidently!)
One thing He said was, "Focus." In the words, of Furtick, "Any IT person will tell you that you can't get anything done with too many windows open!"
Or in the words of God, "You sow the wind and you reap the whirlwind!" Yep! That's in the Bible!
He also told me to suck it up buttercup because there are worse "F" words than my personal ones and others are experiencing them right now! As I've listened to my Friends this week, I realized He was right! 😏 Some of their "F" words have been Foundational, marriage falling a part, having to relocate, loss of job, Family members struggling with addiction, Funerals, Finances, Family, Fired, Failure, Faithless, Facebook, Friction, Fractures, Frustrations and they're Fed-up with these and all the Feelings that come along with them! Some of them are able to lean heavily on their Faith and their Father, others haven't Found that luxury, that Freedom, that Foundation.
Regardless of our "F" word it will help us to Focus. At times we don't even realize that we've taken our eyes off our Father we've just veered slightly because well, the "F" word. And veering ever so slightly can really change our perspective, I think it's why people shout the "F" word at me when I'm behind the wheel so often.
My first two memory verses this year were:
Psalm 19:14, "Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my Rock & my Redeemer."
Ephesians 5:15-16, "Be very careful then how you live, not as unwise, but as wise, making the most of every opportunity because the days are evil."
Both are to help my Focus be on my Father and the good Future that He has promised me, along with His Faithfulness to me even when I am unfaithful, and the Freedom from all the world's "F" words that He brings.
So yeah, 2017: The Year of the "F" Word.
