“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future,” I thought about the deep truth of this statement as I dug my feet into the sand alongside my tribe of thirty plus years. I listened as they talked about how their own children are having to navigate relational hurdles that we never even dreamed of to find their people, heck to even find themselves!
I work at a college. It’s in North Dakota. It’s a very small college. I guess that last sentence was unnecessary after the previous sentence. I’m surrounded by 18-25 year olds, which is great since I’m 29. We don’t always have drama around here, but when we do, Dos Equis, it centers around relationships. And don’t you discount some good, clean, Christian, relational drama! We could have our own telenovela! Spoiler alert! Everyone’s drama surrounds relationships…. that’s why they’re so freaking important!
For the best program around, (PACK YOUR BAGS) it’s crunch time, the pandemic has put a bit of a twist, if you will, on marketing a travel / study abroad program. Note that I said, MARKETING not RUNNING. We had a kick #$% year! (If you filled those 3 spaces in with anything other than “BUT” then I don’t know what to tell you!) Like seriously, from Ellendale to Chicago to Hawaii and now to Israel, God gave us an AMAZING year, and I know we have to MARKET using the travel and degree programs and all because it's why one actually goes to college I suppose, but can I be completely honest? The BEST things you walk out of here with are JESUS and COMMUNITY and I can hear some jerk mumbling right now, “And a whole lotta debt!” Shut up already! Truthfully, I’d pay good money for those I love the most to fall more in love with Jesus, find their identity in Christ, have good healthy friendships, and earn a degree along the way, but I don’t think we can market those as deliverables or charge for Jesus’ work on the cross, so I digress, come to college & travel the world!
Stick with me here for just a minute longer, I don’t just tiptoe along the lines of blasphemy I also teach psychology. According to Erik Erikson (who does that to their kid?) there are 8 life stages and with each one comes a specific crisis, supposedly just ONE, so I’m wondering if he meant in a day or what? After college, that crisis is Intimacy vs. Isolation. Will you choose to live in community or to isolate yourself? Not just if you will remain single or get married, but will you have friends, maintain relationships? Will you have a tribe? Student life has socialization and relationships built right into it, you literally live with, eat with, go to class with, and party with your friends 24/7. In college, whatever is going on with you, everybody knows, whether you want them to or not, it’s just built in. In the real world, not so much, unless you’re one of those people who use Facebook as your diary. (And if that’s YOU; stop!) If you’re over 25, in one of Erikson’s final 2 stages of life and if his theory is correct then you’ve faced at least 6 life crises so far, what did you need the most? When you lost the baby? When your marriage fell apart? When the doctor called? When the house flooded? When the accident happened? When it didn’t work out as planned?
More tequila? A master’s degree? A bigger house? More money? Those weren’t your answers? Weird. Okay maybe some of them would’ve helped a little, but I bet your answers were something more along the lines of, “my people” or “my faith,” weren’t they? I know, because the more times I turn 29, the bigger me and my problems get it seems I’m always looking for my people and my Jesus. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so thankful for all my resources, experiences, degrees, and they come in handy, sure, but when the BIG stuff happens I’ve just noted that those aren’t my GO TOs. Speaking of, this is not where I was going to GO TO with this blog, truthfully I sat down to write a newsletter, but I'll do just about anything to get out of that!
So, if you’re facing something huge right now and wondering how in the world to tackle it, my advice would be: Jesus and community. If you’re worried about your kids, make sure they have access to: Jesus and community. If you’re wondering how to fill up that new calendar now that the world is opening back up prioritize: Jesus and community. Now I need Jesus and community to come write this newsletter!
