But Your Front Office Lady Is A B/!?@$?%?^?!!

Some time ago, I had decided that I would write a book.  The title would be, "But Your Front Office Lady is a B@!#&!"  I've since decided that I don't want my legacy to include the B word, but recent events have warranted that this title at least be used for a blog post!!! (Sorry Mom!)

I'm throughly convinced that many businesses and (cough, cough) ministries would profit from such an understanding.  An understanding that whoever the first point of contact is for your organization IS your reputation.  Whether it's by telephono or walking in the front door, "____________ IS First Baptist, JCPenney, Cox Hospital, etc." So, put the name of your secretary, your receptionist, your doorman, your scheduler, whoever in that blank and they ARE your organization! Are you rethinking that minimum wage?  

I once was a front office lady, in case you didn't already know it, that was a BAD idea. I am type A, I am task oriented. I'm not a, "Hey how are you today?" kind of gal! I'm a, "What do you need? Get to the point!" Kind of girl. I'm not an, "It's okay that you can't clearly read the form that says, YOU DO NOT NEED TO FILL THIS PART OUT, YOUR CARDS WILL BE SCANNED, but thanks for telling me that I have them so you can't fill that part out because you don't have that 28 digit account number memorized!" kind of gal!  I don't exude warmth and friendliness although I've learned to fake it a great deal. Ahhh I just scream PASTOR, MISSIONARY, THERAPIST! Don't I? (Oh and P.S. I was eventually an EXCELLENT front office lady, because I realized NICE resulted in pastries and flowers and gift cards from our patients!)

Your front office lady isn't getting any flowers?!?  Maybe it's because she's a B!@$%#!?  ORRR maybe it's because you've got the wrong butt in that chair! OR because you've given her a million and one TASKS to do and those darn PEOPLE keep coming or calling in so she's frustrated and overwhelmed and her voice and face show it and all the sudden the buzz is, "Auto Zone is RUDE or better yet, "You do NOT want to go to First Assembly!" 

Recently I found myself in need of going to the doctor, a.k.a. going broke.   (PS. If people are calling to make a doctor's appointment they probably already aren't having the best day. OR the same could be said if people are calling to speak to the pastor or in Auto Zone, etc.) 

Here's the transcript of my convo with Cruella De Ville or Front. Office. Lady.

 F.O.L. Who is your doctor?  Me: I don't know. I've only been there twice. F.O.L. You don't know who your doctor is?! (said in a tone that really said, you're really so stupid you don't know who your doctor is?!) Me: no. I've only been there 2x and I've never seen different people each time. F.O.L. You've been here 3x. Your doctor is Dr. Plastow and he's not in today and you have a balance so you couldn't schedule anyway. Me: Could I see someone else?  F.O.L. Not until you make arrangements to pay your bill. Me:  Okay. Can I pay it now?  F.O.L. I don't take payments. Me:  Could you transfer me to someone who does? (Bill paid, transfered back to F.O.L. Me:  Can I make an appointment now?  F.O.L:  We don't have any left for today. What did you need to be seen for?  Me: Shortness of breath. (I have pneumonia) F.O.L. Well we could get you in at 3:30, but you have to pay first......

I'm looking for a new doctor because I don't need that kind of hassel when I'm already not feeling well. And I had a balance because they wrongly billed for a well visit which my insurance doesn't cover & it was a sick visit and it had to be refiled! But it wasn't the admin mistake that riled me up it was most certainly the F.O.L. 

Dear HR, Don't worry so much about the typing and worry more about the tone. I realize we Type A people are more efficient and just overall more excellent workers than those socialites, but find a socialite, find a nice sweet ole g'ma to answer the phone and to greet your patrons, because they're your first impression, they're your reputation, they're who you are! Oh my goodness, I just realized why Wal Mart hires those sweet old people to stand at the front door! 

I'm not sure if it was the pneumonia that spurred this on or the fact that the verse I'm currently memorizing is Philippians 2:5 "In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus!"

(I figured I should end with a verse since I started with the B word!) 

20somethings!

Ahh, this generation! You can tune in every night and watch them forage their way straight to hell. The media takes great pictures outside of nightclubs and rehab clinics and they seem to have direct downloads for mug shots these days.  Channel surf all you want, they're going to hell in a handbasket.     I'm not sure if you know this or not, but the media doesn't always give us the WHOLE story and not everything you read on the internet is true. Unfortunately, I'm afraid many take this gloom and doom message today as gospel truth. I'm not saying we don't need to strengthen our ministries aimed at the young adult community because God knows we sure do! What I'm saying is, there's just more to the story.

  There are droves of college and university students;  20somethings, who have risen above the keg party, self-involved, materialistic, apathetic picture that our media shows us.  Each morning they arise and rather than start their days off with hangovers and a walk of shame; they grab their Eurasia Cafe coffee,  and walk with Christ aspiring to bring HOPE to someone else's world- some just befriending the lonely kid down the hall in their dorm and others sponsoring a kid on the other side of the world with the money from their part time jobs, and others getting degrees in medicine to run free clinics in the Congo! 

  Many of them link up with Chi Alpha groups across our nation for community and for discipleship and others are found in the local church in their community. Seriously, there are some amazing 20somethings out there! 

  I wonder what could change if the media would follow these 20somethings around for awhile and abandon those that always seem to end up with a mug shot or a scandal.  These 20somethings are living outrageous lives as well-it just looks and smells different (thank goodness!) 

  How do I know these anomalies exist?  I've met them.  I know them personally.  I've worked with them.  I follow them on twitter and facebook- their lives are THAT interesting. They are former students and interns- hundreds of them.  My 20somethings are way cooler than the showcased ones, they're fighting world hunger, they're advocates and educators, they're musicians, they're earning degrees in agriculture, medicine, international business, intercity social studies, theology, they're hilarious, good-looking, and as intelligent as they come. They're waiting till they're married. They lead small groups and play ultimate frisbee and ski and go to the lake.  They're writers and artists and married and single. They come from poor homes, wealthy homes, foster homes, and the middle class.  They're the children of pastors, blue collar workers, drug addicts, CEOs, teachers, drug dealers, and single parents. They hail from middle America, the blessed south, California and NYC and everywhere in between. In a way they're extremely average, but in 100 ways they're so far from it. They are exceptional. They are the future in which I choose to invest, they ARE the living, breathing, moving, functioning church. 

  They're the spring breakers that went to Haiti instead of Panama City.  They've mostly replaced their red solo cups with a starbucks and if they're ever on the news or exposed you won't have cover the eyes and ears of your small children.  They're a strong generation who don't get much attention out there, but they're not in it for that! I've just grown tired of no one hearing about them, they're amazing. It's like we're trying to keep their existence a secret! They EXIST! 

  I wrote this blog while I sat among them over New Years at The World Mission's Summit 3.


 Where they knew before they bought their tickets that they were going to be asked to give a year to serve and pray about a life time!  Over 5,000 young adults gathered to worship the Lord and hear about how they can get involved in loosing the chains of injustice, setting the oppressed free, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, repairing the brokenness of our world, and being a part of restoring lives, of something bigger than themselves. Regardless of their career path, their number one goal is to share the HOPE that they have in Jesus Christ. I'm awed by them. Thank you for being who you are. 

  Father, bless them today. Strengthen them. Give them favor. Make their dreams come true. May all the little ones in my life follow in their footsteps.  May they take others alongside them on their journey to follow You and make You known. 

Dedicated to the Alumni of the Convoy of Hope Internship Program. 

 

Condemnation vs. Conviction

My pastor friend recently wrote a blog about the detriment of legalism to our lives. Here's the Link He mentioned a few popular books and teachings out that seemingly left people feeling, wrecked or insufficient.  Legalism is a hot topic among my generation for sure.  I grew up AG and if I hadn't known better I would have thought those letters stood for Always Guilty.  Unfortunately the students from my first ministry position probably gathered that from my teaching too! (Sorry guys!) It wasn't until my mid to late twenties that I had any real concept of Amazing Grace - maybe the next generation will say that's what they think AG stands for! Let it be!

 Have you ever left a church service or time with Christians feeling beat down or overwhelmed because of what you heard?  I certainly hope not, but I'm afraid there are many who would answer yes to this question.  Granted I did just read this morning about the rich young ruler who walked away from Jesus with his head down because he just couldn't stomach making the commitment to follow Christ. But I think the difference there is it wasn't because of what Christ said to him, Christ gave him the good news, actually he gave him GREAT news, "You can have eternal life!" The RYR was sad because he was now making a conscience choice to walk away from the truth and the reality of what that meant was sinking in.  Which is good reason to be sad.

I was fortunate enough to do one of my graduate practicums at Evangel University working in their counseling department.  Many of my clients were wrestling with their faith and on the verge of walking away un-Attainable Grace, they were after all, Always Guilty.  I took my dilemma to my wonderful supervisor Brian Upton and he gave me this sheet, that I've been handing out ever since.  I think it should be handed out to everyone.  It's truly GOOD NEWS.


Condemnation drives you down to be less; Conviction calls you up to be MORE.

Condemnation instills hopelessness; Conviction instills HOPE.

Condemnation drives you to self-pity; Conviction calls you to REPENTANCE.

Condemnation drives you to inactivity; Conviction calls you to ACTION.

Condemnation drives you away from God.  Worship, prayers, Bible study are difficult and uncomfortable.  Conviction calls you closer to God.  We are drawn to worship, prayer, & Bible study. 

Condemnation focuses on the problems.  Problems and conflicts get bigger.  Conviction focuses on solutions.  Problems grow strangely dim and conflicts get resolved. 

Condemnation drives you guilt and bondage; Conviction calls you toward FREEDOM.

Condemnation drives you into stress and anxiety; Conviction calls you towards PEACE.

Condemnation is based on rules, regulations, laws, & legalism; Conviction is based on RELATIONSHIPS.

Condemnation is usually past oriented; Conviction is usually future oriented.

Condemnation causes us to hide; Conviction causes us to be open and honest.

Condemnation is authored by satan; Conviction is authored by the Holy Spirit.  

I'm guessing when we are speaking from ourselves, from our flesh, if you will, condemnation likely spews out.  Thank God for the Holy Spirit; John 16:8 reminds me it's His job not MINE to convict, so I pray to be full of Him, because if I'm not then it means I'm full of something else! 

John 3:17:  For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. 

I Have a Confession to Make

I have a confession to make.  I don't watch a lot of LIVE tv.  Meaning I watch most everything DVR, on Netflix, or online.  AND I listen to even LESS music.  If I DO find something I like I wear it out, for instance, just the other day my Greatest Hits of Reba McIntyre broke in the cassete player and my Lynryd Skynryd tape came unravelled all together! Sad times!

I do however listen to a lot of audiobooks and podcasts, gosh I sound like a dork and I've not even gotten to the confession part yet! When I DO listen to stuff though I picture in my head what the character or artist looks like, for instance, I listen to a lot of James Patterson Alex Cross stuff on road trips and, in my head, Alex Cross looked just like Denzel, so you can imagine my disappointment when Tyler Perry was cast to play him on the big screen! Again, sad times. Tyler Perry = Madea NOT Denzel!

So, with all of that said, I must confess that whenever I heard Adele sing, I always pictured a Big Black Southern Woman! (Truthfully, I pictured Della Reese, she's my go-to BBW mentally!) So, when the Oscars was the only thing on and I see tiny Kristen Chenoweth interviewing a Big Blonde White British Woman named Adele, I was shocked! I've had to regroup entirely!

So to prevent anyone else from having to go through the mental assimilation difficulties I have endured:
This is NOT Adele:

THIS IS ADELE:

Why I'm Anti-Honey Bear!

I tee totally agree with the Barry B. Benson, star of the BEE movie, bears should not be used to store the honey, they STEAL honey.  It's like selling knives in OJ containers!

Oh and P.S. since we're talking about the BEE movie, anyone know what "Scripting" is?  It's often times a symptom of autism or even PTSD, but my BFF @essjaydubb does it and claims to be mental illness free, I suppose it'd be wrong for me to give my professional opinion of her mental health here on the blog, but then again she's not a patient so I'm not violating HIPPA, this was just not something we covered in ethics class?! Any who, she scripts! The majority of her dialogue is peppered with movie quotes and/or noises, which isn't necessarily problematic, but I learned by accident it doesn't stop there. A while back, Sara had spent the night and was in my bathroom taking a shower, alone I thought.  I continued to hear her talking, not singing, but talking so I yelled a response, "Yeah?"  No response, but continued conversation.    Once she was out, I said, "Who were you talking to?  Were you praying?" Her face reddened and she irritatedly replied, "NO!" Later in the day she said, "Would you like to know what I was saying in the shower?" "Yes please!" I was quoting the Bee movie. Me: "?" She replied in character voices:

You're gonna be a stirrer?

 Nobody's listening to me!  I can say anything I want right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!

Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae. Shack it up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth, and start calling everybody "dawg"!

Now you can draw your own conclusions about Sara's mental health, but I should continue you on about why I'm totally ANTI- the honey bear.  It's not because I'm a Bee's Rights Activist.  The honey bear and I totally had a run in several years back to which I have never fully recovered from.  Just yesterday the nearly decade old incidence made me gag!

Picture it, Sicily , I mean Kansas City, the year 2005. (If you don't get that last reference then you need to watch the Golden Girls more!)  It was cold and snowy out, much like it is today, it was one of the weekends between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I was with my KC family, headed to Grandma Days' for a Thanksgiving Christmas meal.

The fixings are all laid out, turkey, ham, mashed potatoes, green beans, homemade rolls! My mouth is watering just thinking about it! Bradley Jo is behind me in line making sarcastic remarks about my need to hurry it up! I grab the honey bear and drown my rolls and green beans and dressing, for good measure, in honey and head to my seat. I cannot wait to sit down and eat!!!! I take my place at the card table, it must've been the kid's table because Brad and Bubba both sat there too.  I place a fork full of goodness on my honey buttered homemade roll and took a bite while my mind said, "Get in my belly!!!"  That's when my hatred of the honey bear began!

See, Grandma Day had repurposed the honey bear ; once the honey was all gone she had filled it up with lemony orangey citrus dish soap.  All the fixings were set up on the kitchen counter right beside the sink, where the honey bear rested, stating clearly on his belly that he was fully of honey! The yellow, orangish liquid deceptively drizzled out slowly masked as honey all over my Thanksgiving meal.  I was ruined at first bite.  I couldn't taste anything, but liquid dish soap the rest of the day. To this day if I smell citrus dish soap I can taste it! "Dang" you Honey Bear!

Change: The Biggest Loser & The Bachelor

This is an insider edition to Picking up the CHANGE today! In other words, it's a glimpse of what's going on inside my head.

Change is hard. There are lots of things I am trying  (wanting) to change right now. Trying would say I'm putting significant effort towards said things & quite honestly I am not.

I had dinner with my good friend Amy Luke last night. She's definitely a favorite friend. She's an athletic trainer and has come running every time I've called over the past 8 years saying, "I'm ready to get healthy!" She asked me last night if I ever do any of her workouts, I pointed to myself and said, "Obviously!" She does her part, even gave me whole wheat crackers with my dinner last night, but at some point I have to do mine.  Sigh.

After dinner we sat down to watch, "The Biggest Loser," (and ate Girl Scout Cookies!) I must confess that Monday nights in my world belong to, "The Bachelor" NOT "The Biggest Loser!"  I know, I know, but it's like earning Continuing Education Credits for my counseling degree, it's a house full of psychosis and therefore excellent case studies.  AND after watching The Biggest Loser last night, I don't see the difference, except one shows fat people crying and whining a lot and the other skinny.

Either show you watch, change is hard. My devo today was about change and I wanted to share some of the things I highlighted,

"Many people do not show growth in their walks with Jesus Christ because they do not want to change the way they are living.  At times they might even be moved to tears by their failures, but they do not surge ahead because basically they want to do exactly as they have been doing!"

"Amen," says the lady with the large McDonald's coke in her hand.

We need our deep ties to be with faithful believers because two people cannot be bound together while walking in opposite directions in life.  (It sounds like a Chinese proverb, but it's scripture!)

We are to be set apart, not set against. (Oh goodness please hear this!)

I want to stop being a consumer in my life and be a contributor.  (that was just from my head)

"Many changes in our lives can be hard, but it's our refusal to change the places God is asking us to change that keeps us stuck on the dismal merry-go-round we're too afraid to jump off yet too sick to stay on."

Most diet & exercise plans, treatment plans, plans to be a better parent, spouse, student, friend, teacher, worker, follower of Christ, they will work, you just have to do them.  It is for freedom...

God, Father Abraham, Nehemiah, & James Courter

I had a morning meeting with a missionary to Haiti.  I guess I should confess something first.  I don't like Haiti.  It may very well be my least favorite place on earth.  There are lots of reasons for this, not the least of these being my encounter with Haitian Bed Bugs & screaming man goats.

As I have set out to launch this intern program for Sustain Hope, one big thing that has to be secured is your destination.  Once you have that, you can work on all the other many details.  I began emailing my missionary friends around the world.  Places like Buenos Aires, Dominican Republic, Nicaragua, Chiang Mai, Philippine Islands, Kenya, etc. The possibilities were endless.  I also emailed some missionaries to Haiti I had met one time while they were here stateside.  I don't know them personally like the others on the list, but for some reason I included them.  I sat in front of my screen constantly refreshing my inbox waiting to see where God would take me on this new adventure! Guess who was the first and only missionary to respond that day?! Haiti!

More confession: When I look at Haiti, I see destitution, I see darkness, I see very little hope! I know this is a terrible outlook, I'm just being honest.  It's dark, the poverty is nearly unparalleled, it's Voo Doo for goodness sake! I see the people and I feel pity & helplessness & hopelessness.  My vision of them and for them has been very short sited and very unGodly.  But this is my truth.

Today I sat across from a man who sees Haiti for what it is, it's a real mess.  I sat across from a man with a seminarian & medical degree who had his sites set on going to Muslim nations where no missionary had ever gone, but God said to him, look at Haiti.  So he did, he moved his family of 6 to Haiti.  They minister to hundreds of children weekly, help national pastors with church plants, head up a Bible school, run a medical clinic and quite a bit more, but "that don't impress me much."  (Well, it does, but not as much as what he SEES.) He said to me, "You know I look at Haitians and I see they're resilient, they can live under the harshest of circumstances and conditions, and survive!  They could one day live in the harsh conditions of the unreached people groups too."  He looks at the Haitians and sees missionaries to the middle east?!? (WOW!)  I need to borrow this man's glasses! (and his heart and his resolve too evidently!!) I was profoundly impacted by his vision.

Tonight as I was doing my devo, a study of the book of Nehemiah by Kelly Minter.  (I highly recommend it!) Jerusalem was in ruins, Nehemiah hears, he goes, he rallies the people, they rebuild the wall in 52 days, but it's still kind of mess, there are no homes, the people are living in tents.) Kelly quotes Derek Kidner as saying this about Jerusalem at this time,

"The barely habitable city, the encircling heathen, and the poverty and seeming insignificance of the Jews are all transcended by the glorious reality of God.  The facts are not ignored, as the ensuing everlasting to everlasting and of God's unimaginable greatness above all blessing and praise."

This is how God (and Jame Courter) see Haiti.  I (MBK) see the barely habitable city, the encircling heathen, the poverty and seeming insignificance of the Haitians and He sees the glorious reality of God not ignoring the facts just knowing His God's unimaginable greatness!!!!

Last, but not least my devo took me to Hebrews 11 about Father Abraham's faithful heart.  And again I was reminded of the GREATNESS of God and the man I had an 8am meeting with today.  vs. 9 &10 read like this:  By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with of the same promise.  For he was looking forward to the city with foundations whose architect and builder is God.

Haiti is not God's first tent city to deal with and we are not the first people to ever be shaken to the core with financial difficulty, grief or sadness, betrayal, infidelity, disease, or difficulty that cannot be measured. AND we are not the only heirs with a promise, our Haitian brothers and sisters are heirs, the little girl in the news this week whose mom sold her for drugs is an heir, the facts are horrendous and should not be ignored, but you know what else should not be ignored?  the unimaginable greatness of God.  We would all do well to set our sites just past the facts, looking forward to the city, the future with foundations whose architect and builder is God.

Thank you God, Father Abraham, Nehemiah, and James Courter for a change in perspective today!