My Paw Paw

Exactly 3 weeks ago my paw paw went to be with Jesus. It's been hard for me to be on the other side of the world and grieve and work and lead all at the same time. I can't say I think about him any more than I used to, I can honestly say I thought about him every single day and still do. Thanks to Skype I've been able to talk to him from every country I've visited as a missionary. I learned so many lessons from him and I'm sure will realize many more as time goes on. He is sorely missed today and the tears just keep coming, but thinking about him doesn't make me sad because just about EVERY memory I have of him makes me laugh out loud! He's left a strong legacy of faith, love, and fortitude behind and I'm happy for him, to be at peace and rest and health and in the arms of Jesus, just a little selfishly sad for myself! I love you paw paw!

(Letter my little sister read for me at the funeral March 7, 2012)

Greetings from the Philippines. As I sit here thinking of my paw paw and what to say to you on this day, I so wish that I was actually there with you to say it. Plus with my little sister reading this I am assuming that anything I say about being the favorite grandchild will be deleted. I was very close to my paw paw and will miss him very, very much, but a few weeks ago he called to tell me that if anything were to happen to him while I was overseas I did not need to fly home. I adamantly disagreed with him believing that I would be able to get there no matter what to honor him, plus I figured he was lying about not wanting me to fly home I mean I really am the favorite grandchild, but it turns out there are promises you cannot keep when the Filipino government has your passport & it’s a 24 hour flight to get home. So, I am grieving with you all across the seas and celebrating the life of my paw paw here in the Philippines.

At first when I came to terms with the fact that I would be unable to make it home, I thought oh no, paw paw is going to be taking names of who is not there and I am going to be in big trouble! But the more I thought about it, I’m fairly confident that he is not in attendance today. At first thought I imagined paw paw instructing Jesus on how to appropriately hook the boat to the back of the truck to locate the best fishing holes in his new home. Poor Jesus! I sure hope Jesus doesn’t try to talk to him while they’re fishing, he always told me I couldn’t go because I talk too much and would scare the fish away! But then on second thought I imagine the beauty of heaven and the glory of his savior’s visible presence is fairly AMAZING and that we, NOR fishing are on his radar at this very moment!

The Bible tells us that heaven is where God is and therefore a place where I’m sure we’d all like to be today and hopefully a place where we will all end up.

Psalm 16:11 says that, In His presence there is fullness of joy and at His right hand there are pleasures forever more.

As much as I am going to miss my papa, it brings me great joy to think about Him there in the presence of God and experiencing FULLNESS of JOY for the first time ever and all those pleasures that are the right hand of His father, that paw paw can now partake in.

The Bible also describes heaven as a place with streets of gold, where everything is new, and shines like jasper, it talks a lot in scripture about the gates of heaven. And as I try to imagine my paw paw making his way thru those gates, no serious scenario comes to mind, they are all quite comical. You see,

One of my favorite things about my paw paw was his incredible sense of humor, he is probably the funniest man I’ve ever met. You really never knew what he was going to say! Most of the time my granny would just shake her head and say she was sorry when he talked! I tend to think I take after him. Between me and Brittley I’m pretty sure my paw paws witt and hard headedness will live on for many more years. In case you’re wondering who Brittley is, it’s my cousin Brittany, but my paw paw called her Brittley for no known reason, but likely the same reason he called pizza pizzell. This is another reason I know I was the favorite grandchild I mean at least he knew my name!

My favorite imagined image of my paw paw entering the gates is him running straight to my brother Michael Jr. and those of you who didn’t know him very well are imagining him hugging him and loving on him, for those of you who did know him very well you know he was likely looking to find my brother first because he probably owed him money! I laugh thinking of my older brother hiding behind a really big angel.

I hope you are not appalled at my use of humor today, as I believe my paw paw would be appalled if I did NOT use humor today. At a very serious ER visit the dr. continued to ask him if he knew who I was, the dr was trying to assess his mental state at the time and paw paw continued to tell them he had no idea who I was, and would smile at me every time the dr. would look away. Then as they were preparing him for a serious procedure they asked him if he had had any alcohol that day, which he most certainly had not, he proceeded to tell the nurse he was trying to cut back and had had only a case that morning and then when asked about some bruises on his arms, he continued to state that we beat him regularly. So today I believe I am making him proud from afar.

Something else you need to know about my grandfather, he had selective hearing, when he did not want to respond to someone he pretended he could not hear, you could yell straight in his ear and he wouldn’t hear you, but it was astounding that he could always hear the faint noise of my granny sitting down. And once he heard this noise he would automatically be in need of something! Which she would always get him!

I am glad that he did not use his selective hearing yesterday morning and that he was able to hear his heavenly Father saying Come home my son. I have been preparing a place for you.

You see, Philippians 3:20-21 says this about heaven, “Our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control will transform our lowly bodies, so that will be like his glorious body.

You see, I am sad that my paw paw will not be in his chair when I get home from the Phillippines so I can kiss his head and hear him tell me to be mean. But I am so excited that I know he is with Jesus today and that God’s word is true when it says in Revelation 21 that God will wipe every tear from their eyes. That there will be no more death or mourning or crying and no more PAIN, 48 hours ago my paw paw was in a lot of pain, today he is free of that pain, he is made well, he is made whole. Revelation 21:7 says that because my paw paw overcame and had his name written in the Lamb’s book of Life that he is right now inheriting all of heaven and that God will be His God and paw paw will be his son.

Then in Revelation 22 the very last chapter of God’s word it says that then the angel showed John the river (so I know my paw paw was jumping up and down when he got this part of the tour!) the river of the water of life as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and the Lamb right down the middle of the city… and then it describes a pretty cool garden.

Even though my heart is breaking right now, I talked to my paw paw last week and I told him we were gardening here in the Philippines and he told me good he sure hoped I learned how to work then I could help him with his tomatoes when I get back. He usually ended our conversations with “Be mean.” But last week he ended it with ,”I love you.” When I read in scripture about how beautiful heaven is about how we will all be completely healed and full of joy when we get there, and that there’s a garden… I know my paw paw is happy and whole. And while I firmly believe heaven is going to be a place of rest and relaxation especially for my Granny after over 60 years married to my paw paw, I believe for my paw paw one of the hardest working men I’ve ever known that he’s working hard today because that brings him joy and is now able with his new heavenly body to plow up a garden without tying the plow to my granny. So when we get there we should expect to see the most beautiful garden we’ve ever laid eyes on, but I’ll leave you with a final word of advice, when you get there and you see how beautiful it is, I would NOT dare to pick even one of his roses!