What are you hiding? Spanx, but what else?

You have Spanx, right?  Don't lie.  Sara Blakely, "the Spanx lady," is a BILLIONAIRE!  (Seriously, look it up!)   So,  you, my friend own a pair of Spanx.

I should probably dedicate this entry to my mother as she she is the one who so graciously and repeatedly informs me of my need for Spanx.

Congratulations mom! You're now in the same category as Joan Rivers! Joan's life advice on her birthday last week was, "Scout for men at funerals and invest in Spanx!" I'm personally surprised you opted for Spanx over surgery!  Oh, and Oprah endorsed them as her favorite product! (I'm not sure she's great advertisement for Spanx, but I'll keep my commentary about Oprah to a minimum b/c I think the secret service breaks down your door if you speak ill of her!)

You don't know what Spanx are?  (you're a man aren't you?)

I asked my female friends how to describe them today and I got this:

"Like Spandex shorts that suck all your fat in... in turn making it spill out the top and bottom ;)"

"A sausage encasing."

"They minimize mom-butt."

"A tourniquet that successfully cuts off your blood flow and airways for the duration of a wedding, night on the town, or class reunion."

Still a bit unclear, (or a little TOO clear!) No worries I have photos!

 This was the most appropriate, oddly enough the women who model for Spanx don't NEED Spanx and are seductively smiling in all the photos taken of them.  No one SMILES, much less SEDUCTIVELY smiles while wearing Spanx. Unless you count the constant thought of "I so wish someone would come and take these off of me!" as seductive! Anyway, this is not a porn site so you get the midsection of this poor woman, who evidently Spanx don't really work for!

Oh and in my search I found something that made me happy, happy, happy! - Spanx for men!!!! Oh dear Lord! Men, the only thing that could be more unattractive than finding out you wear Spanx is that you have a cat!

After speaking a church a few week's ago, I got convicted afterwards while driving home, I mean I wasn't being real with those people I was hiding something! Spanx under that dress! I began to think about II Tim 3:5 and how it talks all the bad things that will happen in the last days, people will become lovers of themselves, of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self control, brutal, not lovers of good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God and HAVE  A FORM of GODLINESS, but deny its power!  Have NOTHING to do with such people! Stay with me here, translation:  In the last days people will wear Spanx, they will have a FORM of Skinny, but deny its power.  It was so overwhelming I had to pull over and take them off!

The truth is, I'll still wear Spanx, because more of the truth is, most of my dresses won't fit without them, but I'd rather not HAVE to wear them. I'd rather not have to HIDE them. In other words, I'd rather just be fit and skinny! Hmm...

My devo, "No Other Gods," by Kelly Minter, (which, BTW, is AMAZING!) spurred this whole thing on today with her posting a journal entry about hiding things. So thank HER that you can't get these moments of your life back that you spent reading! I'll end with her entry in hopes that the Lord will speak to you too about not having to hide things anymore!

Kelly's journal entry:

"I'm moving so this means I've been cleaning out my house and finding pockets where I've been hiding things. You know, the ceremony of shoving things into closets when people come over.  This is one way to clean.... I'm guilty of doing this to Jesus.  He showed me this while I was cleaning one day (in a loving way).  He pointed to the corners of my closets and underneath my bed.  He said, "I see this, and you know it's there too though I think you've almost forgotten about it by now, it is still collecting major dust and is just totally useless.  It's taking up space.  You have the illusion that it is still offering you something, or you have the hope that one day it will be of use to you.  Come on, let's go clean it up." We've been cleaning up my life together for a few years now. I no longer have to close off doors to the people in my life anymore.  I can invite them in.  Most important, I have invited Jesus into every room.  I always imagined Him coming in and saying with an authoritative voice, "There's no room for Me here! When I come back this better be clean!" (Hello moms everywhere!) Well, like a typical child, with that kind of relationship with God, I just lived my life hiding the things I was supposed to get rid of and created the illusion that I had cleaned up! Fortunately, this isn't the way He works.  Jesus gets His hands dirty.  He comes in and helps us clean."

So let Jesus help you clean up what you're hiding, we don't want just a form of godliness, a Spanx facade! I don't want to just look fit, I want to be fit! I don't want to just appear Christlike, hiding what is unlike Him, I want to BE Christlike! Lots of cleaning (AND working out!) to do!

I'll close with the words of a great missionary to Nicaragua,
"You don't need more of Jesus, He's already giving you ALL of Himself! You just need less of everything else!" -Ken Doutt