My Run In With The Likes of Caitlyn Jenner

   

There was a palpable buzz in the room, especially for 8:30am on a Saturday morning. It's been a decade now, but I don't think I'll ever forget this day. I was in a group meeting for persons with schizophrenia. Yes, as an attendee; it was a requirement for my graduate studies in counseling. We had to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, Narcotics Anonymous meetings, and the rest we got to choose. If I had a stalker during this time in my life, I'm pretty sure I scared him away.  I worked full time and went to school full time so, this 8:30am Saturday meeting was about my only option.
 
   I was nervous;  I wasn't afraid of mentally ill people, heck! I am one, I just didn't know what to expect. I sure did not expect to walk into a room of over 40 people, my text book said group therapy should be done in small groups, like 10-12 people. Guess they hadn't read my book.  It was chaotic! Everyone was talking loudly all at once and moving about the room, there was no identifiable leader, I seriously almost bailed. Eventually someone called everyone to order and said because there were so many today they would split us into two groups, sigh of relief, I'm not the only one who thought this was WAY too many people for a group. I spoke quickly with the leader making sure it was okay for me to be there and let her know that I would just be a silent observer and could even sit outside the circle if need be. "Nonsense," she said, "you sit with us and at the end we'll have some Q&A for you."

   I found a place on a tattered couch next to a tall skinny guy with wild curly hair, whiskers, tired eyes, oh and bright red lipstick, green eyeshadow, and a jean mini skirt. They say that in group settings of strangers, people will still subconsciously gravitate towards those they have the most in common with.  Since learning this, I've observed this to be true of most people, not sure what this says about me, but this was my seat of choice.  In all honesty, I think it was because it was the seat closest to the door.  The group leader asked us to turn to our neighbor and give a 2 minute update of our week, how we were doing, etc. Sam and I began to converse. (By the way,  I made up the name Sam.) Sam had had a rough week, people had been unkind, work had been harder than usual, my heart went out to Sam and so did my hand, I had reflexively placed my hand on Sam's arm. Sam's week had been so tough that it took up our 2 minutes so I didn't have the chance to introduce myself or clarify why I was there. At the break time I noticed they had a Coke machine so I was heading out to my car to get some change when Sam asked if I was leaving, "Nope, just getting change for the machine, you want a drink too?"

  When the meeting was called to order we returned to our same seats enjoying our cokes. After there had been a lot of sharing, the leader decides to introduce me and tell the group why I'm there. (I was hoping she'd forgotten about me.) She told me to ask anything I'd like, so I asked if anyone would be willing to share with me what a typical day is like for them. Their answers revealed that there really is no typical day, some days are okay, even uneventful, other days are filled with a rollercoaster of feelings, highs, lows, fears, anxieties, and chaos, but group helps, they told me. Sam said that a typical day is wanting to cut off body parts that feel like they don't belong. "Alone, crazy, uncomfortable in my own skin! " Again, my heart and hand went out. They were then able to ask me questions, they all spoke at once, and asked where I was from, if I was married, if I was scared of them, and what school I attended. I chuckled and began to feel more at ease and answered TN, nope, no way, and Assemblies of God Theological Seminary.

  Just when I was about to sigh with relief that the morning had gone so well, Sam jumped up and faced me. "So you're a Christian?" "Yes," I stammered, shocked at the question and the tone. "I don't believe you're a Christian!" The leader tried to interject, but I put my hand up to let her know I was okay. I really wasn't okay, my heart was pounding and I'm sure my face was red, but I wanted to know what on earth I had done in the last hour to warrant this response. Sam faced me and with a trembling voice said, "you sat beside me, you looked me in the eye,  you bought me a coke, you even touched me, I don't believe you're a Christian! The Christians who come into my work, if they don't ask for a different server they mock me, "Mam, Sir, whatever you are!" They leave Bible verses instead of tips, they're mean, horrible people!" The room got loud in agreement. The leader took charge and I don't know what she said, because my ears were ringing with panic, but she transitioned everyone to the snacks and it was all over in a matter of a minute or two. I wanted to just bolt for the door, I was shaking, but I turned to Sam and said, "I'm so sorry, can I pray for you?" I prayed thru my own tears and gave Sam a quick hug before I ran to sit in my car and put my head on my steering wheel. What just happened?! 

  It took me a long while to process it all, not this whole decade, but a while.  I was, AM, grateful for the experience especially while the nation was shouting back and forth about Caitlyn Jenner. Nothing I did that day was intentional, except maybe sit near the door. I was not attempting to be Christlike, I was there learning about the struggle of the people in this room for a class. My first reaction when Sam accused me of not being a Christian was offense and anger,  my mind said, "Hey! Wait a minute I was nice to you even though you're weird!" ** Before you jump all over me about my non PC comment, you need to know that I think anyone not like me is weird, you like cats? You're weird. You ENJOY sci-fi movies?  You're weird. You DON'T like to travel? You're weird. You love cottage cheese? Weird. Your idea of a fun day is shoe shopping?! Super weird. After hearing Sam's previous experiences with Christians I was relieved my affiliation did not show.  I may not have acted like a Christian that day, but I think I might have acted like Christ. (I was just as surprised as you are!) I'm sure no saint. and I don't know Sam's story or Jenner's real story, I'm sure there's some heartbreak and brokenness in there, but I do know a real love and a real Savior and it's Him I want to communicate to all you weirdos out there. My encounter with Sam changed me in so many ways that day and I pray that Sam encountered the real love of a real Savior that day, who can heal all of our brokenness no matter how weird we may be.